It's been a long time since I've blogged here because...well....i got blogged out from the summer. Random thoughts cross my head all the time but one of the tougher parts of being a pastor is that there are few things that really 'belong' to you. I'll read something and my first thought is, "how can I incorporate that into the ministry at St. A's?" God will teach me something and before I know it, it's off my tongue in a sermon. So part of my discipline this fall was to try and keep some stuff between God and I - to develop some depth to my walk with God. Church ministry is unique in that the work I'm called to do there is directly related to my personal relationship to God. If I'm not growing and staying close, the work suffers. Item 1 on my job description as a pastor is to continue cultivating my personal relationship with God. If I stop growing and sincerely TRYING to live what I'm saying, I hope I quit before I get fired.
But here's the irony. My relationship with God isn't a job. It's a marriage relationship that needs to be as personal and intimate as my relationship with Kathleen. Some things in my Christian life need to be kept between God and I. Maybe at some point, it'll be a sermon illustration, but for now, it's just for us to share. In order for me to reach maturity in Christ, I need to let God's word seep deeply into my heart - not so I can be a better pastor - but so I can be a better disciple, a better person, a better child of God.
Our measure in God's eyes isn't dependent on how well we measure on our job evaluations but how we measure on our faithfulness evaluation. My 'job' is no different. To borrow language from 1 Cor 13....If I preach a thousand great sermons and build a ministry with millions in it but haven't a relationship with God, I'm nothing.
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